雅虎工程师发布奇特简历
雅虎程序员施吕特发布了一份奇怪的简历，要求预付40万美元的年薪，而且不得讨价还价。
Yahoo programmer Isaac Schlueter's cranky resume demands $400,000 a year up front, non-negotiable.
事实上，施吕特真正的用意是要摆脱那些不断骚扰自己的招聘人员。
In fact, Schlueter's real goal is to chase off recruiters who won't leave him alone.
简历内容如下：
Here's the resume:
这不是玩笑。
This is not a joke.
我真心喜欢在雅虎工作，我也相信现在的职位将为我未来发展提供最好的契机。
I truly love working at Yahoo and believe that my position here offers the best avenue to further my career.
我没有被辞退。
I was not laid off.
而且，我也没有辞职的打算。
I have no plans to leave.
对公司合并或者出售，我并不担心。
I am not worried about mergers or buyouts.
我知道有些（雅虎的）主管刚刚离职，但是我一点儿也不在乎。
I know that some executive just quit, and clearly, I don't care even a little.
是的，是的，你们公司不久前获得了亿万的风险投资。
Yes, yes, you've recently gotten a million gillion dollars in venture capital.
而且你们公司是由两名斯坦福脑科博士创立，他们还发明了永动机，等等。
And you were founded by 2 brain surgeon rocket scientist Stanford PhD grads who invented a perpetual motion machine, blah blah blah.
你说的这些我都听说过。
I have actually heard it already, that line of yours.
很可能就在最近。
Probably very recently.
所以，你不必白费唇舌了。
So don't bother.
如果你出不起这个价钱，请不要直接与我联系。如果你认为你的声音可能会改变我的想法，那就太可笑了。
Please don't "reach out to me directly" unless you can actually afford me; it is demeaning and absurd to think that the sound of your voice would somehow change my opinion on this matter.
我已经煞费苦心地用最强硬的措辞来表明我的态度，但是仍有人听不明白。
I have tried so very hard to put this in the strongest possible language, but some people just never get it.
如果你有一个新的或者是令人兴奋的网络应用，想就此听听我的意见，欢迎与我联系。
If you have a new or exciting web application, and you'd like my feedback on it, feel free to contact me.
如果我对它感兴趣，并且有时间的话，我会试试你们的测试版并给你反馈。
If I feel like it, and have the time, I'll play with your beta and let you know what I think.
如果你想占用我兴趣以外的时间，我会按照特殊的收费机制——300美元/小时来收取产品咨询费。
If you want more than my hobby time, I do product consultation on an ad hoc basis at $300 per hour.
