调侃总统

选里根吧，要不他会哭的。
    Vote for Regan or he’ll cry.
    感言：选里根的原因值得推敲，他哭可以给糖果或巧克力，但选他当总统可要慎重。
    
    即使里根辩论时只睡30秒，麻烦也不会小。
    If Regan goes to sleep for even thirty seconds during the debates he’ll be in a lot of troubles.
    感言：里根年龄大了，精力不济，人们担心他辩论时睡着了，所以里根最好在辩论前喝点儿浓咖啡。
    
    我总是有点儿紧张，一个75岁的人说他愿意为他的国家献出自己的生命。
    I always get a little nervous when a man of seventy-five says he’s going to give his life for his country.
    感言：这种紧张是有道理的，本来可能是自然死亡却可能得到因公殉职的补恤金，这个里根！
    
    所以尽管都不赞成里根，但还是把他送进了白宫。
    Swept Regan back into office on a landslide of disapproval.
    感言：大伙都认为里根干不成什么事，但挺喜欢这个当过演员想干政治的有幽默感的人。
    
    如果里根碰上严重点儿的危机，他下午就睡不成觉了。
    If Ronald Regan ever faces some terrible crisis, he’ll really spend sleepless afternoon.
    感言：但是里根没觉得什么是严重的危机。
    
    年龄超过70岁的总统只有一个优点——他不必听妈妈的。
    There is an advantage of a president being over seventy, that is he doesn’t have to listen to his mother.
    
    我们应该象对待大学生一样对待里根，给他一个小测验——说出你孙子辈的名字。
    We should treat the President like a college student, and give him a pop quiz ----- name your grandchildren.
    注：讽刺里根可能连孙子的名字都写不全。
    
    我不会把年龄作为这次竞选的话题，我不想利用我竞选对手的年轻没有经验来占他什么便宜。
    I will not make age an issue in this campaign. I am not going to exploit my opponent’s youth and inexperience.
    注：里根对对手辩论时攻击他年龄的经典回答，在这以后他的对手不再攻击他的年龄了。
    
    第一场辩论后的舆论显示即使里根显得犹犹豫豫、精神紧张、糊里糊涂、前言不搭后语，但只要他能记着把裤子提起来，他会再次当选的。
    The consensus after the first debate was that even though the president appeared to be hesitant, nervous, confused, and incoherence, as long as he keeps remembering to put on his pants, he would be re-elected.
    注：因为里根幽默，人们原谅了他的其他缺点。
    
    里根可不是你们平常说的那种政治家，他不知道怎么去说谎，去欺骗，去偷，他早有代理做那些事儿。
    Regan is not your ordinary kind of politician. He doesn’t know how to lie, or cheat or steal. He’s always had an agent for that.
    感言：没有什么特殊原因我们都不应该去偷。
    
    很多民主党说他们选里根是害怕如果里根没选上，他会再去拍电影。
    There are a lot of Democrats who say they are voting for Regan because they’re afraid if he loses he might make another movie.
    
    里根已经发现当总统不象他想得那么容易，事实上他准备要一些特技费。
    Regan has discovered that the Presidency isn’t as easy as he thought. In fact he’s going to demand stunt pay.
    注：里根敢于提合理的要求。
    
    南希(里根夫人)和里根在床上，南希说，“上帝！你的脚这么凉。”里根回答，“在床上时你可以叫我“根”。”
    Nancy was in bed with Regan. She said, “My God, your feet are cold.” He said, “When you’re in bed you can call me Ron.”
    注：里根把自己当成上帝了。
    
    每次我在电视上看到蒙代，我就以为自己成了色盲。
    Whenever I saw Mondale on television. I thought I had lost the color.
    注：总统Mondale(蒙代)很乏味。
    
    蒙代激起了全国人民的漠不关心。
    Mondale is stirring up apathy all over this country.
    注：人们对蒙代没兴趣。
    
    卡特是第一个民众支持率低于银行最低利率的总统。
    Carter is the first president with poll rating lower than the prime interest rate.
    
    看到人们张开五个手指头等着我，很开心。
    It’s a pleasure to see people waiting at me with five fingers.
    注：美国总统卡特竞选时到哪儿都不受欢迎，他所以这么说，可能是人们一般都举着拳头等着他。
    
    有人说卡特吝啬，报复心还重，但我跟着他干，我知道他正好相反，他报复心重，还吝啬。
    Some say Jimmy Carter is mean and vindictive, but I work for him, and I know he’s got the opposite: vindictive and mean.
    
    华盛顿说，“我不会说谎”，尼克松说，“我不会说真话，”卡特说，“我看不出有什么区别。”
    Washington was saying, “I cannot tell a lie”. Nixon was saying, “I cannot tell the truth.” Carter was saying, “I cannot tell the difference.”
    
    我今年选共和党，民主党对我口碑太差了——莱文斯基。
    I voted Republicans this year. The Democrats left a bad taste in my mouth.----Monica Lewinsky
    注：克林顿对莱文斯基的口碑太差了。
    
    尼克松对着林肯画像说：你是幸运的，他们用枪射的你。
    Nixon to portrait of Lincoln: Well, Ade, you were lucky. They shot you.
    注：尼克松被成吨的嘲讽包围着。
    
    尼克松对以色列首相说，“我羞辱地辞了职，我的朋友们都看不起我，我的助手都在监狱里，我怎么办？”
    以色列首相说，“吃片水果。”
    Nixon to Israli prime minister, Golda Meir,
    “I’ve resigned in disgrace,[耻辱] my friends ignore me, my aids [助手] are in prison. What should I do?”
    Gold Meir: “Have a piece of fruit.”
    
    尼克松就职宣誓， “捍卫大部分宪法”
    Nixon taking the presidential oath [宣誓] of office, “Ade defend most of the constitution.”[宪法]
    
    尼克松在日记里严肃地写道，“我的第七次危机慢慢开始了。”
    Nixon writing solemnly [严肃地] in his diary, “My seventh crisis began slowly.”
    
    尼克松对军队的头说：公众正吵吵闹闹想知道水门事件的真相，只有一件事情可做：发动战争。
    Nixon to his military[军队] chiefs: The public is clamoring [喧嚷] for the truth about Watergate. There’s only one thing to do: Start a war.
    
    伊利莎白女王对伊朗国王说，“是的，尼克松拜访过我一次，他拿走了一个汤勺。”
    Queen Elizabeth to the Shah of Iran in her opulent carriage: “Yes, Nixon once visited me, he took a spoon.”
    注：指尼克松行为不检点。
    
    尼克松说，“你们是相信我呢，还是相信事实？”
    Nixon to the White press corp., “Are you going to believe me or the facts?”
    创新句子：我觉得你们除了相信事实外还要相信我。
    
    Haldeman(人名)在空军一号上指着尼克松腿上的地图说，“在这儿跳，是个好地方。”
    H.R. Haldeman sits besides Nixon on Air Force One pointing to a map in the President’s lap. Says Haldeman: “This would be a good place to jump.”
    
    尼克松发表电视讲话：“我们从事政治间谍活动、入门盗窃、窃听、扰乱竞选、非法使用基金 ——嘿，所以我们犯了个错误。”
    Nixon to the public in a televised address, “political espionage,[间谍] burglaries,[入室行窃] wiretapping,[窃听] campaign disruption[破坏], illegal use of funds [基金]----- Hey, so we made a mistake.”
    创新句子：我犯了个错误，我杀人了。